Columbus, Ohio USA
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Tom's Corner Archive
Commentary by publisher of Short North Gazette
Columbus, Ohio USA
Return to Homepage: www.shortnorth.com
email Tom: tom@shortnorth.com
Tom's Corner Archive
Commentary by publisher of Short North Gazette
SHORT NORTH GAZETTE
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Tom's Book in Progress - My Orbiting Grandmother
Short North Gazette publisher Tom Thomson (right) with the late Maynard E. "Jack" Sensenbrenner,
Mayor of Columbus. His Honor the Mayor once said, "I guess what I'd like people to say about me later is,
"Here was a guy who saw life and helped lift the level of the age he lived in. He didn't just eat, burp and go home."(December 2003)
Buckeye BluesThere were a lot of sad faces around town after Michigan trounced our beloved Buckeyes. The mood reminded me a lot of the disappointment expressed in that famous poem "Casey at the Bat" by Ernest L. Thayer. Remember how it ends?
Oh, somewhere in this favored land the sun is shining bright,
The band is playing somewhere, and somewhere hearts are light.
And, somewhere men are laughing, and little children shout,
But there is no joy in Mudville – Mighty Casey has struck out.
In our own case, it might alleviate our disappointment if we consider how many teams would love to have gone through two seasons with only a couple of losses.
Another thing to remember: It's just a game. You can't win them all. One more point. If we're as great as we claim to be, then it wouldn't hurt to show a little respect for a team that manages to beat us!
Dining Delight
R. J. Snapper's continues to be my favorite seafood restaurant in Columbus. The ambiance is fantastic &endash; like visiting a romantic seaside village, so magical I keep thinking I hear the mysterious bleating of foghorns in the distance.
And, the food? Scrumptious! My favorite is the salmon dinner with scallops running a close second. The house salad is also delicious and unique.
Also important: The folks who work there are thoroughly professional - and friendly. Brandy Roush is a great bartender, and Im always intrigued by Angie Lauer's upswept hair.
Hello Al!
Al Eichenlaub is a new nighttime chef at Zeno's, 384 West Third Avenue. Al comes to his new job with an impressive batch of credentials.
He was Sunday Brunch Chef at the long gone but not forgotten Once Nation Restaurant .
For a few Years he tried his hand at Hat and Sole Inc., a store that specialized in exclusive men's hats and Birkenstock and Naot sandals.
And, for a good many years and still counting, he has been a blue's entertainer and band leader. Under what name, you ask?
Why, Big Al & His Capital City Players, of course.
Nature Notes
Don't forget to put food out for the birds and squirrels. Yes, even squirrels have to eat, even though they can be a pain in the neck when they appropriate a bird feeder. Suet feeders are nifty too and are especially appreciated by woodpeckers and nuthatcjes among others. Keep a list of the birds seen in and from your yard. Keep a list. Put it on the fridge. Make a game of it.
Crime Clinic
You'll have to jolt your memory a bit to solve these questions that dwell on the macabre and grisly underside of life.
1. She gave her mother forty whacks and when she saw what she had done, she gave her father forty-one. Who are we talking about?
2. Who was betrayed by the Lady in Red?
3. Who kidnapped and murdered little Bobby Franks?
4. Who allegedly kidnapped and murdered the Lindbergh baby?
5. Who was the leader of the gang that killed Sharon Tate?
6. Who allegedly assassinated President Kennedy?
7. What OSU department head murdered his mistress?
Dis 'n Data
The gala Jan. 6 Holiday Hop features brass bands, carolers, and carriage rides, and lots more, in addition to great shopping, fine dining, and unexcelled people-watching. And keep an eye out for the Dooley Holiday Coaches!
Don't forget Winter Fair at the Ohio State Fairgrounds in the Bricker Multi-purpose Building, from Dec. 4 to 7.
The Short North Tavern's John Allen popped the question to Liz Blevins and she said yes. The couple haven't set a date yet.
A couple of months ago Bob Munley spotted a Great Blue Heron in the Goodale Park pond.
Joke: I say, "I just saw a human toe out on the sidewalk!"
You say, "What did you do?"
I say: "I called a tow truck."
Quiz Answers
Okay, sleths, here are the answers.
1. Lizzie Borden
2. John Dillinger
3. Richard loeb & Nathan Leopold
4. Bruno Haoptman
5. Charlie Manson
6. Lee Harvey Oswald
7. Dr. James Snook
Do good, be happy, stay out of jail, and I'll see you next month.
(From the Nov. '03 issue)
Lazarus Lament
What a shame the downtown Lazarus store will be shutting its doors next summer. And, yet, you could see it coming. In a way, it's amazing they held on as long as they did.
Ever since the trashing of downtown Columbus started in the '70s, there's been an exodus of first-class institutions from the central city. Previously, there had been numerous department stores and classy retail establishments. To name a few: the Union, the Fashion, Morehouse-Martins, and Dunn-Tafts. There were fashionable men's and women's clothiers, comfortable hotels, more ten-cent-stores than you could shake a stick at, and enjoyable restaurants and bars galore. Nothing much left now but corporate high-rise boxes and parking lots.
Thank goodness for the Short North!
Goodbye Greg
I was so saddened to learn of the death of James Greg Hill, a neighbor of mine for many years. For some reason, he preferred the name Greg over James. Be that as it may, he was a rare individual who was always pleasant, never com-plained, and was vitally interested in the natural world around him. He was someone you could talk to, never rushed through conversations, listened thought-fully to your every word, looked you directly in the eye with a knowing smile. He worked at The Ohio Company for 32 yrs. Goodbye, Greg, you'll be missed.
GI Gifts
The residents and staff at Heartland Victorian Village nursing facility and rehab center are raising funds to purchase holiday gifts for members of the 1485th Transportation Company, Ohio National Guard stationed in Iraq.
The 170 soldiers in the company were mobilized in February 2003. Anyone who is interested in contribut-ing to the fund should call 464-2273 and ask for Kris Dudley, Denise Dunn, Heidi Smith, or Autumn Hoover.
Nature Notes
What a glorious autumn we were privileged to enjoy this year. Coming after a rather hectic year of wind and rain storms, it was a welcome relief, believe me you.
I think the trees and many other plants were happy and relieved in their own way that the year wound down in such a pleasant fashion.
Maybe that's why they look so hale and hearty and the reason they treated us to a nice display of color.
Dis 'n Data
Dragonfly neo v cuisine, 247 King Avenue, has opened their own bakery &endash; and you wouldn't believe the fantastically delicious goodies that are popping out of their ovens! Cheesecakes, muffins, sweet rolls, bread of all descriptions.
Don't forget the International Festival, November 8 - 9, at Veteran's Memorial Hall, 300 West Broad Street. Hours on Saturday are 10 am to 9 pm; Sunday 11 am to 6 pm. Over 60 countries will be represented by 150 exhibitors. Don't miss this opportunity.
Design Group recently received a Gold Medal Award from the Ohio Chapter of the American Institute of Architects.
Welcome to David C. Cunningham, Investment Representative for the Edward Jones Company which opened an office at 850 North High Street last month.
Last month Bob Munley spotted a Great Blue Heron in the Goodale Park pond.
Quiz for Idiots
Okay, here it is by popular demand, our first annual Quiz for Idiots. Fasten your seat belts and here we go!
1. What is the capital of the U.S.A.?
2. What is the capital of Canada?
3. What century is this?
4. Who is the governor of Ohio?
5. Who are the two U.S. senators from Ohio?
6. What county is Columbus in?
7. What planet do we live on?
8. Who is the Vice-president of the United States?
9. Name five states that abut Ohio.
10. What is the capital of Mexico?
Quiz Answers
Okay, bubbleheads, here are the answers.
1. Washington, D.C.
2. Ottawa
3. Twenty-first
4. Robert Taft
5. George Voinovich, Mike DeWine
6. Franklin
7. Earth
8. Dick Cheney
9. Indiana, Michigan, Pennsylvania, Kentucky, West Virginia
10. Mexico CityDo good, be happy, and I'll see you next month.
(From the Oct. '03 issue)
Halloween Hop
Booo! Clank, clank, clank of chains! Oooooo! Wailing of ghosts!
You guessed it. Halloween's around the corner -and here's an idea for the Short North Business Association, and everybody else.
Why not use Halloween as a theme for a Gallery Hop? Hold on, you say! "There's a little disparity here in calendar dates."
OK, I say. Let's bend the rules a tad. Every good rule deserves an exception. Let's move the November Gallery Hop a day or two forward and make it a Halloween Hop! It's a natural! And, think of all the fun to be had!
Folks would be encouraged to come to the Hop in costumes, tooting toy horns. Merchants could be costumed too. There might be a haunted storeroom someplace, contests, designated ghosts and goblins. Street venders could sell apple cider and doughnuts.
I'm sure many people would show up just to see the sensational spectacle of all the ghoulishly garbed gatherers!
And, do you wanna know something else? Columbus used to have a wonderful Halloween celebration right downtown.
It was like a festival. A regular masque-rade ball. People traveled from all over Central Ohio for this event.
So what happened? It was cancelled because of a penitentiary riot and never reinstituted.
Well, the pen has been torn down, so let's not be intimidated any longer.
Nature Notes
I haven't seen a nighthawk all year. This once common bird has all but disappeared from the local scene. I used to love watching them as they flew erratically about the evening sky, sometimes power diving to please their lady love.
Why have they suddenly become so rare? One theory is that crows were gobbling up the nighthawk eggs which
were laid out in the open on flat rooftops. Now crows are on the decline because of the West Nile Virus. Maybe the nighthawks will come back. I hope so.
Dining Donations
Project OpenHand invites everyone to DINE OUT for a great cause. Enjoy a meal at participating restaurants on Thursday, October 16 and a portion of
the proceeds will be used to meet the nutrition needs of persons living with HIV and AIDS. Some generous restaurants in our neighborhood that you might want to patronize are:
Betty's Fine Food & Spirits, 680 N. High; Dragon Fly neo-v cuisine, 247 King Ave.; Spinelli's Deli, 767 Neil Ave. at Thurber Center; Union Station Video Café, 630 N. High St.; Burgundy Room, 642 N. High; Strada World Cuisine, 106 W. Vine St., and Tapatio, 491 N. Park St.
For a complete list of participants email pohc@aol.com or call 298-8334.
Laptop Leisure
The Waiting Room Espresso Lounge at 874 N. High Street is one neat new place. Great coffee, pastries, fruit smoothies, bagels, deli sandwiches, and vegan options are offered. Also available, free computer hook-ups. Stop in and help them celebrate their Grand Opening during the October Hop.
Quickie Quiz
How many head football coaches has OSU had? Ok, see how many you can name. Answers are at the end of this column.
Dis 'n Data
Winged Migration, the breathtaking documentary about birds, is still playing at the Main Street Drexel. It's wonderful! By the way, if you have any interest in our feathered friends, catch WOSU-AM's Open Line Bird Watching program Thursday, October 16 at 6:30 pm. I'll be there along with Ralph Ramey, Lois Day, and the show's host, Tom Wiebell. We might have Don Burton to bring us up to date on the West Nile Virus.
Don't forget that Kimberly Ingram of Wild Plum is always ready to solve all of your floral needs. She recently celebrated her second anniversary at 938 Dennison Avenue. If you need innovative floral arrangements for your wedding, commitment ceremony, or any kind of gathering, call her at 298-0571.
Nobody seems to know what happened to Roadhouse Annie's. The cozy little eatery has been around for years, but now their doors are locked.
Caren Petersen of A Muse Gallery has opened up a trendy little shop, To Muse, right next door to the Drexel Theatre at 1245 Grandview Avenue.
One of my favorite magazines nowa-days is Vanity Fair. Too bad it has such a ritzy name because it's loaded with everything from celeb stuff to mysteries.
Quiz Answers
How soon we forget! OK, fans, here are the answers.
Head football coaches who have guided the gridiron destinies of OSU since it became big-time are: Jack Wilce, Sam Willaman, Francis Schmidt, Paul Brown, Carroll Widdoes, Paul Bixler, Wesley Fesler, Woody Hayes, Earle Bruce, John Cooper, and Jim Tressel. That's it. Eleven!
Do good, be happy, and I'll see you next month.
(From the Sept. '03 issue)
Fat Chance
Received a nice little invitation the other day inviting our editor Margaret to an informal gathering with Mayor Michael Coleman. The occasion? To celebrate "the reality of the mayor's vision of the Downtown Revitalization Program."
The upcoming get-together is spon-sored by Long & Wilcox, a real estate development company. All well and good, so far. But as I was scanning the invitation, the following phrase caught my eye: "enjoy cocktails and heavy 'hors d'oeuvres."
"Heavy hors' d'oeuvres?"
The deuce! We're not subjecting our editor to heavy hors' d'oeuvres! Not a chance. We like her waist size just the way it is!
Another thing. What the heck are heavy hors' d'oeuvres anyway? Biscuits that didn't make it? Failed omelets? A baked bean soufflé? Pound cake?
Well, they certainly got one thing right on the invitation: the tab for the affair is two hundred and fifty bucks. That's heavy!
Thus, it is with hesitant but heavy hearts that we decline the invitation. Thanks anyway and, say, it might be a good idea to have a supply of bicarbonate of soda on hand.
Just kidding, guys.
Have a great party for a worthwhile cause!
Viva! Via Colori!
Via Colori continues an old tradition of street painting.
Originally practiced by Italian war veterans of the early Renaissance, today
it is celebrated throughout the world &endash; and it's coming to the Short North
Arts District! Saturday and Sunday, September 13 and 14 are the big days. Mark your calendars !
The event will help celebrate the opening of the new I-670 and will take place right down there on the new highway just hours before it is opened to traffic. This, my friends, took careful planning, not to speak of precise timing!
Artists from all over Central Ohio will participate and create their own works of art. The Gazette is proud to have Paul Volker, who has done many a Gazette cover, create a work of art on the 10' x 10' square we are sponsoring. If you want to sponsor a square, call the Short North Business Association at 228-8050.
But whatever you do, come join the fun and help make history. There will be live entertainment, plenty of food, refresh-ments, and lots more!
Lit Bits
I am reading up a storm. Half a dozen or more books. Fact and fiction. I'm reading them all at the same time. The ones I've read before, I just dip into. A little bit here, a little bit there. Whatever mood strikes me. I'm obviously not reading for continuity or the main thrust of a particular volume. Instead, I consider it more like a literary smorgasbord.
Books I've never read before are a different matter. I read a chapter or so, then put them down and come back to them later. In other words, I take my time digesting what I've read.
Okay, here's what I'm into:
American Son, a new book by Richard Blow, the sad story of John Kennedy, Jr.
Tropic of Cancer, by Henry Miller. A return visit to this famous book and a rediscovery of what a fine writer the author was.
The Celestine Prophecy, by James Redfield. Sort of a spooky read.
The Book of Illusions, by Paul Auster. Another spooky story that I've just gotten into.
Quickie Quiz
In regard to last month's Quickie Quiz in which I asked my readers what three persons they would most like to have known.
This got a response from reader Procol J. Payer who reminisced about a game called "Scruples." He then recalled how he and his friends sometimes made up their own questions. One example was:
"Given no restrictions, who would you choose as your:
1. Dinner guest
2. Best friend
3. Lover
Before giving his own answers, Procol suggested we run for cover if any married couples are around taking the quiz. Oh, his answers were: 1. Norman Mailer, 2. Paul Simon, 3. Linda Ronstadt.
Dis 'n Data
Dozens of people have called and written to tell me where there are morning glories galore. Seems like I was looking in all the wrong places, plus it was too early in the season when I was out snooping around all the alleys in the neighborhood.
Fred Andrle, host of WOSU-AM Open Line, will be reading some of his poetry, along with Charlene Fix, at Scottie MacBean Roastery in Beechwold, 4675 N High Street, at 7 pm on Sunday, September 28. Fred definitely has a way with words. And he's a passionate guy, so who knows what you might hear!
Do good, be happy, and I'll see you next month.
(From the Aug. '03 issue)
Morning Glories
My editor asked me if I would find some morning glories and photograph them. She needed a picture to illustrate a little vignette in this issue by A Young.
"Sure," I cheerfully replied, thinking to myself that this photo assignment would be a snap. Ha Ha! Pun intended, but not only that, how wrong I was!
Well, here is what I found out about morning glories. They are wild, reclusive vines, preferring out-of-the-way back alleys, and long-forgotten fences.
Over a period of several days, I traveled up and down most of the alleys of Victorian and Italian Villages, Harrison West, and Grandview. Upper Arlington apparently doesn't believe in alleys. Well, that's their loss, because I discovered that back alleyways are usually more interesting than the more ostentatious streets out front.
My good friend Tom Barney who works at Boulevard Gardens helped me by locating a couple of plants there. Trouble is they weren't in full bloom, so I continued my search and, I'll tell you one thing: Morning glories are not common.
In my wanderings, I found plenty of purple cone flowers, black-eyed Susans, lilies of various persuasions, roses, iris, and chicory plants, but precious few morning glories!
I found my share of birds that hang out in such quiet and cloistered places.
There were plenty of mourning doves, house sparrows, starlings, robins, and cardinals. However, there were not as many of the little rosy-colored house finches as in previous years.
All in all, my morning glory mission failed. But the photo of the train by Marguerite Cox Molk that we ended up using with Young's vignette made us both happy and seems to follow the spirit of the piece.
New Name
The Short North Performing Arts Association has a nifty new name.
The organization is now calling itself CityMusic. Well-known for presenting folk and chamber music concerts in the Short North, the new title better reflects their diverse audience, according to Artistic Director Steve Rosenberg.
"Our impact now reaches beyond the Short North," Rosenberg said in a statement.
The Chamber series will continue to be held at the Elevator Brewery and Draught Haus, 161 N. High Street. The five-concert season will commence October 12 at 2 pm with the Vienna Mozart Trio from Austria. Meanwhile, the CityMusic Folk Sampler has a new home at the Brickyard, 165 Vine Street. Its three-concert season starts September 28 at 7 pm with the Holmes Brothers, a soul and gospel group.
For ticket information, call 228-6224.
Quickie Quiz
My old friend Emerson Burkhart had a little game he often trotted out for unsuspecting friends, waitresses, bar-tenders, whoever. It went like this: He would ask them to name the three people who ever lived they would most like to have known.
After he did this, the recipients of the question would wander around in half a daze as they pondered their answers, Another version would be to limit the answers to living people.
You would be surprised at how revealing of a person's beliefs this little game is.
Dis 'n Data
The beautiful mural on the wall facing Frezno's dining patio is reminiscent of a Van Gogh painting. Check it out.
Europia has a series of wine appreciation classes on the following dates:
¥ August 7
¥ September 11
¥ October 9
¥ November 6
Call them at 460-3000 to sign up.
Extra Terrestrial, the great Short North auto detailing place, has moved to 1167 Mt. Pleasant Avenue.
Dave McLaughlin recently sold his popular Pisa Pete's to John Bomack. After extensive remodeling, the new establishment will open as Basi Italia. Plans call for greatly increased seating.
Do good, be happy, and I'll see you next month!
(FROM THE JULY '03 ISSUE)
Life's Links
Life is what you make it, I guess. Or as Robert Frost implied in his memorable poem "The Road Not Taken," the choice is always ours.
I was in the Thurber Village Big Bear recently and decided I wanted a New York Times. Walking over to the service counter where they keep the newspapers, I ended up standing in line behind a silver-haired gentleman, impeccably dressed in a Palm Beach suit, shirt, and tie.
Acting on an impulse, I spoke up in a cheery voice and said, "You're so dressed up, I would guess you're going to a wedding!"
He turned to face me, smiled, and replied: "I'm a professional man so I dress like this every day."
"Oh?" What profession are you in?" I asked.
"I'm an attorney," he answered in a friendly manner.
"I'm a professional man, too," I said, knowing he would have a hard time believing it what with my scruffy jeans, a tee shirt, and my proverbial beat-up cap.
"And what would that be?" my new acquaintance asked with genuine interest.
"I publish a neighborhood newspaper, I replied. It's called the Short North Gazette." I looked under the service counter to see if any of our papers were still left, but they were all gone.
We introduced ourselves, exchanged business cards, and chatted for another minute or two or three. You know how slow the lines are at the Bear.
Anyhow, I found out that this pleasant man's name is Harold C. Meier, and his offices are in the old school building at 929 Harrison Avenue.
When I went out to my car, I grabbed a Gazette, went back into the store, found him still standing there, and handed it over.
A lot of extra trouble, you might say. But then I would say, "You never know when you might need a good lawyer!"
Dis 'n Data
Sorry to see the trendy little apparel store Atlantis at King and High sink out of sight. Also closing its doors recently, Plush, the upscale clothing store at 772 N. High Street. But, by the time you read this, Torso will have moved into the space from around the corner.
There are some beautiful yucca plants in front of the house on the northwest corner of Dennison and Wilbur Avenues.
Stop in at Cherry's Art Center sometime and take a look at Big Bertha, the humongous mat-cutting machine that's been installed there. They also have some interesting artwork on display. Cherry's is located at 59 E. Spring Street in downtown Columbus.
We got an e-mail recently from Linda Doersam Crosby, the daughter of Clyde Doersam, who owned Doersam's Restaurant. She's looking for stories and anecdotes about the one-time popular spot on the southwest corner of Broad and High, and has a few of her own to share. Her e-mail address is idcrosby@cox.net.
Quickie Quiz
Okay, here's an easy one. How many makes of automobiles were named after people? Some of the possible answers are at the end of the column.
Anna Lee
We will miss Anna Lee Barry who passed away recently. She was a school-teacher most of her life and an ardent birdwatcher and environmentalist. Anna attended my Continuing Education classes at OSU and loved the hikes our birding group would take in the Clear Creek Valley. She was a true nature lover. One other thing: Anna Lee was a dedicated Democrat, and proud of it!
Quiz Answers
So easy, it's ridiculous! OK, here are a few: Ford, Dodge, Edsel, Studebaker, Buick, Rolls-Royce, Packard, Hudson, Franklin, Rickenbacker É
Dear Margaret and Tom:
Just wanted to tell you that it's for real. My paintings have been accepted for exhibition in Barcelona, Spain at BCN Art Directe Espai d'Art Gallery in the old gothic Quarter and will show July 4 thru July 20, 2003. I am flying over by Swiss Air to attend the opening with my wife Soonja. When I get back to the USA, I'm sure I'll feel ornery and want to do some covers for you guys, if you'd like that. We are very excited about Barcelona; it's quite a distance from Dick's Den.
Best to you all,
W.C. Hemming, artist and painter
PS: Included some of the 15 paintings as jpegs to be shown. Adios and mucho gracias or as they say in Catalan, "moltes gracies." Want to thank you both for having faith in me and my work.
(From the June 1003 issue)
Linen Litany
Okay, here's the question you thought I would never ask, and you should be warned ahead of time this is explosive stuff. So, be forewarned. Ready! Get set! Go!
How often do you change your bed linen? In other words, how often do you change your sheets and pillowcases?
Answer this question truthfully with-out cheating and hedging or don't play at all.
You can make a parlor game out of this when you have company over - but I don't recommend it. And, remember. Absolutely no cheating.
Here we go. Check one of the following:
¥ Once a week
¥ Every ten days
¥ Every two weeks
¥ Every three weeks
¥ Monthly
¥ Every two months
¥ Quarterly
¥ Every six months
¥ Annually
¥ Every two or three years
¥ Every decade
¥ What are sheets and pillow cases?Suggestions for further uses of this quiz: Send a copy to your in-laws, or maybe your boss. Never send a copy to your girlfriend or boyfriend.
Finally, under no circumstances are we ever going to ask how often you change your underwear. Got that? Never!
James Jive
Our very own staff writer, Elizabeth Ann James, will read with Ellen Seusy at Scottie MacBean Roastery, 4675 N. High Street in Beechwold at 7 pm Sunday June 23. Liz will read poems dedicated to her recently deceased mother, among other current works. An open reading will be offered after the featured readers.
Moon Modes
Northwood ARTSpace presents "Stick to the Moon," playful mixed media cruises from car to wall. Ramona Moon, the Art Car Woman, takes off with toys for her playful three-dimensional art-works, May 7 through June 28, 2003, 2231 N. High Street.
You might note that it's in the Meeting Room 100, which is not available when there are meetings.
If you didn't already know, Ramona Moon is really Christine Hayes, another of our talented staffers.
Petal Plethora
What a spring! Thunderstorms, rain and wind, unseasonable cold, more clouds and rain, rain, rain. I was reminded of what Mark Twain once said: "Everybody complains about the weather, but nobody does anything about it!"
For all of that, we were treated to one of the most glorious displays of spring blooming I've ever seen in my entire life.
From the first tentative maple blossoms to the glorious outpouring of Bradford pears, crab apples, and buckeye trees, it was a botanical fireworks display.
The shrubs, too, were magnificent: the forsythia, the lilac bushes, the honey-suckle, and even the spirea.
Now, in June, we are treated to the luxurious blooming of the catalpa trees.
Quickie Quiz
Here's another little game to keep you mentally alert. Ready? Ok, name at least five literary works that have a bird, animal, tree, or any other kind of plant in the title.
For double scores, name the authors. Answers are at the end of the column.
Dis 'n Data
Welcome to Cow Town Art, located at 668 North High Street. This nifty little gallery is managed by Jason Slagle. Stop in and say hello.
CATCO will host its 2nd Annual Summer Wine Auction on Wednesday, June 11 at Pierre's on Fourth, 590 N. Fourth Street. This is a major fund-raising event and will help keep Central Ohio's only professional resident theatre afloat. Wine and hors d'oeuvres at 6:30 pm, live auction at 8, and dessert at 9:15 pm. For reservations, call Patrick Roehrenbeck at 461-1382, extension 152.
The South Side Settlement is seeking nominations for the 3rd Annual Arts Freedom Awards to be granted to those whose work and life have elevated the human condition and promoted the social good. The deadline is June 27. Call 444-9868. The awards will be given at the Columbus Museum of Art in October.
The Cap is assuming heroic propor-tions! Straddling I-670, this architectural wizardry is going to be one more great attraction in the Short North.
There's a great new bar and restaurant at the old K2U location. It's called the Burgundy Room.
What wonderful guys they are over at the J.R. Body Shop. They're a bit hard to find at 576 W. Second Avenue, but you'll never regret searching for them if your car needs some work on it.
I'm writing a novel, and it's right on the Internet where you can check my progress. It's called The Bird Watcher, and it's mostly about a twenty-one year old young guy trying to find out what life's all about.
When you get on-line, you'll find it at: www.netwalk.com~vireo/boaf.html
Quiz Answers
The Raven, by Edgar Allen Poe; The Cherry Orchard, by Anton Chekoff; To Kill a Mockingbird, by Lee Harper; The Catcher in the Rye, by J. D. Salinger; Ode to a Skylark, by Shelly; One Flew Over the Cuckoo's Nest, by Ken Kesey Ode to a Nightingale, by John Keats; Under Milk Wood, by Dylan Thomas, The Deer Slayer, James Fenimore Cooper; Desire Under the Elms, Eugene O'Neal.
Do good, be happy, and I'll see you next month.
(From the May '03 issue)
Parallel Parker
I'm as big a klutz as the next guy about a lot of things. Fumble and bumble much of the time, that's me. But wait! There's one thing I do superbly well. "What might that be?" you ask with raised eyebrows.
"Parallel parking," I eagerly respond.
If parallel parking were an organized sport, I would be a Gold Medal Olympian. If it were part of NASA's space program, I would be another Neil Armstrong walking on the moon. In the world of golf, Tiger Woods would take second place to my parking talent.
Like a fighter pilot coming in to the flight deck of his (or her) carrier, I bring my vehicle in with a cool and steady spin of the wheel.
With barely a glance over my shoulder, I manage to maneuver a rumbling mass of metal into the most perilous of parking places.
I am a Joe Louis, or Mohammed Ali, deftly delivering that one-two punch that does the job so beautifully.
In bedroom parlance, I would be considered a Don Juan, a lover of legendary prowess, in this case, slipping my vehicle into the allotted space with the greatest of ease.
Don't confuse me with James Thurber's Walter Mitty, the daffy dreamer. Believe me, I am King of the Parallel Parkers!
Damn!
Now, what did the little woman tell me to get at the store?
Survival Snack
In the food department here lately, I've been making an old-time favorite. I call it Survival Snack. A close associate of mine has another name for it. Basically, it's a salad. Get a nice big bowl and fill it with about a third of lettuce and Rotini pasta, add a bag of California style vegetables, cooked. Then throw in anything that strikes your fancy: seedless grapes, chunks of cheese, slices of apple, whatever. Top it off with your favorite salad dressing.
Quickie Quiz
Okay, here's another little game to keep you mentally alert. Ready? Ok, try to name as many celebrities as you can whose first and last names begin with the same letter.
If you want to, you can even include family members and friends. Here are a few examples to get you off to a good start: Marilyn Monroe, Danny DeVito, Ronald Reagan, Herbert Hoover, Betty Boop, Charlie Chaplin, and Helen Hayes.
How about Nick Nolte, Walt Whitman, and Hubert Humphrey? Or Howard Hughes? Or Mary Magdalene?
Cyber Dreams
Several times in the past, I've told you about my dreams. Well, here's another, and is it a doooozy! No. That's the wrong word. The type of dream I'm going to tell you about sucks. It's a nasty computer virus of the dream world. I wouldn't wish one of these on my worst enemy. I take that back: Yes, I would. It would be a fitting revenge for any slight - real or imagined. OK, are you ready for this?
Cyber-dreams are what I call them. In other words, they are computer-related anxiety dreams. A low-level nightmare is what they really are. Repetition dreams would describe them. Doing the same dreary task over and over and over again. Cutting, copying, pasting. Going from folder to folder, document to document. Maybe trying to finish what you were doing all day long. The tragic French poet Baudelaire would have appreciated the futile irony of such nocturnal nightmares.
Pocket Parks
The Short North Improvement District recently broke ground for a Pocket Park at 625 N. High Street. Named Millay Park, the area will feature a brick seatwall, brick piers, wrought-iron fencing, and innovative landscaping. Steve Thurston, Associate Professor of Ceramics at OSU, is producing blue paver bricks embedded with architectural details for a sidewalk that will meander through the park.
A second Pocket development, called Greenwood Park, just south of Fifth Avenue, will be built this summer.
"Pocket Parks are an exciting addition to the Short North because of the landscaping, seating, and public art," says Tim Wagner, Director of SID.
Festival Fun
Looking forward to the Short North Neighborhood Foundation's Art and Music Festival come Saturday, May 3. The music starts at noon and runs for
12 hours! There will be food and beverage booths featuring Short North restaurant specialty items as well as art and music. Expect continuous music from noon to midnight. Participating groups will include: X-rated Cowboys, Jive Turkeys, Two Cow Garage, The Plaster Saints, Shaun Booker, Teeny Tucker, Dave Chisolm Band, and Donna Magavero. Local and regional artists will be displaying and selling their wares. Call 262-0801 or check out the CD101 calendar at www.cd101.com for more information.
Dis 'n Data
The first of this month North Central Mental Health broke ground for a major addition to their facility at 1301 North High Street.
North Market's Gaelic Imports has a bonanza of good things to eat. If you should be longin' for anything from a Shepherd's Pie to a Mincemeat Tart, this is the place to go. Call 221-0989.
(From the April 2003 issue)
Bag O' Bread
Did you ever get hunger pangs gnawing away at your tummy when you were driving around, but you didn't have the time or inclination to pull into a fast food joint? Sometimes, I just don't want the greasy crap most of these places dish out. So what do I do?
I keep a loaf of bread tucked away on the driver's side floorboard, and when I get hungry, I just reach down, open up the bag and pull out a couple of slices. It's always there, and it's economical.
I'll be the first to admit that this is primitive dining, but it's healthy because I always get bread that is nutritious, like stone ground wheat, bran or rye. There's one brand I like that even has nuts in it.
So, I'll tear a piece in half and happily chew on it as I drive along. If I suddenly have to put both hands on the steering wheel, I might end up with a slice of bread dangling out of the side of my mouth for a few moments. Probably not a pretty sight, but as Willy Loman said, it goes with the territory.
Every now and then, when I stop for a light or maybe find myself in a parking lot, I'll see a hungry-looking crow or robin nearby. Then, like St. Francis of Assisi, I toss some slices of bread out the car window. One time I almost hit a lady pedestrian. She was just walking along and &endash; plop &endash; this slice of rye bread I had thrown came sailing through the air and landed at her feet. I'm lucky she didn't call the cops.
Celebrity Sights
B. Hampton's Cathy Capuano was in the Big Apple for the Grammy Awards, and did she ever meet a lot of famous people! Among them:
¥ Queen Latifah
¥ Christian Slater
¥ Ashley and Wyonna Judd
¥ Fred Durst, the Limp BizkitAnd, Cathy has the photos to prove she met every one of them!
Packed Pub
One afternoon last month I went into the Short North Tavern to drop off a few papers and I was amazed to find the place jam-packed with attractive women. Then, I heard a voice cry out, "Hey, Tom!"
It was an old friend, a regular patron of the tavern. He was sitting at the bar, and when I walked over to say hello, he said, "What do you think of this?
I said, "Who are all these people?"
He grinned and answered, Tommy, it's a Lesbian Pub Crawl, and from here they're going to Betty's and Mike's.
When I asked him what he was doing there in the Short North Tavern, he grinned and answered. "Tom, sometimes I think I'm a lesbian in a man's body!"
Love Links
What a wonderful wedding it's going to be! Suzanne Patricia Cotton and Joseph Edwin Theibert will be exchanging vows April 26 in the Griswold ballroom of the downtown YWCA. Rick Berunetto's Orchestra will provide music for the reception that follows. Way to go, Joe!
Quickie Quiz
Okay, here's a little quiz to keep you on your toes. This one's about famous literary works with colors in the titles. I'll give you the author's names, you give me the titles.
1. Alice Walker
2. Anthony Burgess
3. Stendhal
4. Edgar Allen Poe
5. Kathleen WinsorDis 'n Data
So long to Mary Elliott who resigned her position as Public Relations Director at the Columbus Art Museum. You did a great job while you were here, Mary, and we will miss you. Enjoy California!
Betty's, 680 N. High Street, is now open for breakfast at 5:30 am, seven days a week. And, get this! Starting in June, the popular restaurant will be open 24 hours a day. Awesome!
Hooray for the new Metropark on the zWhittier Street Peninsula! It's been one of my favorite birding places for years.
Looking forward to the Short North Neighborhood Foundation's Art and Music Festival come Saturday, May 3. The music starts at noon and runs for
12 hours! There will be food and beverage booths featuring Short North restaurant specialty items as well as art and music. Call 262-0801 or check out the CD101 calendar at www.cd101.com for more information.
As usual, the Irish Step-Dancers who gave a performance at Zeno's on St. Patrick's Day were sensa-tional! And, believe me, there was a big crowd on hand to enjoy them!
Find out how you can send a goat to a child-led household in Africa by stop-ping in at Four Winds International, importer of home furnishings, 921 N. High Street.
If you want to have a barrel of fun, stop in Yankee Trader at 463 N. High St. They have more novelties and party-related stuff than anybody in town.
&endash;&endash;&endash;&endash;&endash;&endash;&endash;&endash;&endash;&endash;&endash;&endash;&endash;&endash;
Quiz Answers: (See Questions Above)
1. The Color Purple
2. Clockwork Orange
3. The Red and the Black
4. The Gold Bug
5. Forever Amber
(From the March 2003 issue)
Blond Beer
One day recently I was checking out the incredible variety of beer, ale, and wine at Viking Premium Beverage, located at 237 King Avenue.
All of a sudden, I did a double take. Did I see what I thought I saw?
Dead Guy Ale. I looked again. Yup. That's what it said on the bottle. That's sure a funny name to call a beverage, I thought. I hope it's good!
I started looking at some of the brand names a little more closely.
Oops! What's this?
Wicked Strawberry Blonde Beer?
Wow!
I wonder if you could perch her on your lap?
It seemed my roving eye was now discovering wild and wooly beer and ale appellations on every shelf.
Here's another one: Two Hearted Ale. That ought to go pretty well with that Strawberry Blond hussy.
Oh, no! What's this? Arrogant Bastard! I can't believe it! Who on earth would want to be caught with that in their hand? Well, maybe that dumb blonde.
Here's a bottle of Purple Haze. If I owned a brewery, I don't think I would call my product that. Maybe pink, but purple? Well, there's no accounting for taste.
Surely my eyes are deceiving me! Dirty Dick Beer? "Nuf said on that one. Arrgh!
Here's a funny one. Oatmeal Stout. And all this time I thought oatmeal was a breakfast cereal.
Another funny one: Flying Dog Beer. Have a couple of those and you might bark. Or wag your tail!
Art Park
I've written about this before, but it's worth repeating. A world-class sculpture trail in Goodale Park would make the Short North an international
destination point, and might even put Columbus, Ohio squarely on the map.
The project could be done leisurely, piece-by-piece with civic and corporate funding of all the attendant landscaping, installation of gardens, and contouring of the land.
Another thought! Would it ever be feasible to build a parking garage under Goodale Park?
Bed Head
The bed I sleep on faces to the east. What I mean is it's on an east-west axis. The head of the bed (also my head) is at the west end of this arrangement. (Sometimes these very simple things are hard to explain.) All of this is my inept way of saying that as the world rolls around the sun, my body is in the same axis, and my head is facing toward the east, where thus far, the sun makes its daily appearance.
So, one morning when I had nothing better to think about, I wondered how many people sleep west to east as I do, and how many sleep east to west, north to south, or south to north. And, as we all go whirling around the world together, I wondered if maybe one way was better than the others. More restful? Less gravitational friction? Whatever. Don't lose any sleep over it. I'm not!
Quickie Quiz
Okay, here's a little quiz to keep you on your toes. This one's about famous fictional ships' captains. In other words, name the captain of each of the following scows. For double scores, name the authors. The answers are at the end of this column. Anchors a-weigh!
1. The Pequod
2. The U. S. S. Caine
3. The H. M. S. Bounty
4. The Nautilus
5. The GhostDis 'n Data
Alas! Alack! Brad Sutton's popular DooWac hair salon is closing up shop at King and High and moving to 2573 Indianola Avenue. What's going to happen to all the Ric Borg paintings? Don't ask me! Brad says he's gonna miss the old location, but times, they are a-changin'. One thing will remain the same though. The phone number: 291-4632.
If your pets could talk, they would tell you to get your bones over to Jo Johnson's Posh Pets. They have everything your cat or dog could possibly wish for.
The house on the southeast corner of West Sixth and Forsythe has a beautiful cupola. No, it's more of a minaret. Whatever, it's so groovy!
Randy Tarr's Great Things on High, 689 N. High Street, continues to carry an incredible variety of gifts &endash; including lots of angels, cherubs, and gargoyles.
The crows are back from wherever they went for the winter. And, they're as smart and sassy as ever!
Donna Silverman called recently and shared some old memories of the times she and Emerson Burkhart celebrated their birthdays. Donna is on January 27 and Burkhart's on the 30th. Donna said Emerson would take her out to lunch or dinner to celebrate, places like Benny Kleins, and Doersam's. Those were the good old days!
Quiz Answers (See Questions Above)
1. Captain Ahab (Herman Melville)
2. Captain Queeg (Herman Wouk)
3. Captain Bligh (Nordhoff / Hall)
4. Captain Nemo (Jules Verne)
5. Wolf Larson (Jack London)
(From the Feb. '03 issue)
Tootsie Trouble
One of my cherished and long-standing habits is running around my apartment in my stocking feet. "Born free!" That's what my toes sing in my honor, until &endash; Yipes! Oh, Lord! Ooooowww!
For the thousandth time I have just rammed one of my poor footsies into a chair or table leg. Oh! It's still hurting. Hopping about on one foot, I wonder if I've broken a toe. Probably not, but even if I did, there's nothing I can do about it. You can't put a splint on a broken toe. All you can do is grunt and groan and wobble around like a ruptured duck. Quack! Quack!
Oh sure, friends and family tell me to wear slippers. Well, let them wear their slippers. For me, I'll go on leading the dangerous life. Like a tiger stalking through a jungle of unexpected dangers, I'll take my chances.
My tootsies aren't as straight as West Point Cadets, but who cares? Like Elsie the lioness, they were born free, and they're eternally thankful. Owww! There I go again.
You know, one of these days they're going to turn on me!
Tasty Treat
A month or so back, I mentioned the terrific southwest chicken sandwiches at the new Cameron Mitchell Bread Company in the North Market. Sorry folks, no more sandwiches at that location. Seems like they didn't give 'em a fair try, huh? Anyway, their bad luck inspired me to make my own.
They're even better than the ones I'm talking about. Open faced &endash; and dee-licious! Here are the ingredients: sliced chicken breast, any wide loaf of bread (shepherd's loaf, for instance), Heinz' horseradish sauce, a dash of salsa, a bit of minced onion, and slices of avocado. All of this topped with Velveeta Mexican cheese. Pop into the toaster oven and prepare to be blessed!
Last Leap
In September 2002, the Gazette published a lovely poem titled "Portrait" by 90-year-old Laura Hank Hilton. In mid-December, my editor and I visited Laura at Lincoln Lodge Retirement Residence with news that we were going to publish another of her poems, "One Last Leap," in our January 2003 issue.
Margaret and I enjoyed our visit with Laura immensely. She was perky as a schoolgirl and regaled us with one interesting story after another.
Laura Hank Hilton was a native of Jackson, Ohio. Her first book of poetry was published when she was twelve years old. Subsequently, her works were widely published, and in high school, she won a prestigious prize in an Atlantic Monthly essay contest.
This past year, she was actively coordinating poetry and writing groups that were well attended, including one at a neighborhood library and another at her retirement residence.
Laura attended Ohio University in Athens, and obtained a B.A. degree in sociology and psychology at Concord College in West Virginia.
She taught at the State Industrial School for Girls in Delaware, Ohio, and later was a member of the Columbus Police Force. Laura returned to her Appalachian roots when she worked at the Women's Federal Prison in West Virginia, which housed such notables as Tokyo Rose and Axis Sally.
You can imagine our disappointment when we discovered that Laura was in critical condition at Mt. Carmel West when last month's paper came out. A few days later, on January 9, she passed away without ever seeing her last published work. It was titled "One Last Leap."
Coloring Kids
Under the direction of Spanish teacher Maria Phillips and art teacher Roxanne Holonitch, fourth graders at St. Joseph Montessori School researched, wrote, designed, and created seven different coloring books for children in Honduras. They are sending them 200 copies, according to Christy Clark, in addition to a hundred boxes of crayons &endash; just in case the local supply is low.
The school was established in 1968 and offers and educational program for children starting at age three and continuing through the eighth grade. SJMS is open to children of all faiths. Pre-school classes are conducted at 1077 N. High Street in the Short North. For information, call 777-7349.
Dis 'n Data
Am I getting old, cranky, unwilling to accept new ideas? I don't think so, even though I hate the new plastic dairy creamer containers with a passion. Give me back the neat little cardboard jobs.
Something's going on at the Thirsty Ear darn near every night, according to personable bartender Amy Ankrum. Especially fun is the Acoustic Open Stage every Wednesday night. And, I just recently discovered that the expression "Thirsty Ear" is in a poem by Emily Dickinson.
Who would ever think somebody would rob an art gallery and sneak away with armloads of paintings? Well, that's what some dumb dolts did at Studio 16, 431 West Third Avenue. Not only that, the thieves made off with a bunch of cold cuts and beverages that were on hand for a grand opening party. Co-owners Doug Fordyce and David Jones advise: If someone knocks on your door with a painting to sell, don't buy it! If you'd like to make a donation to help the guys regroup, you can do it at Betty's, 680 N. High Street.
One night last month our pal Joe Thiebert took a nasty fall on the ice that laid him up for about a month with a broken hip and a lot of wear and tear. I'm happy to say, he's home now and doing real well. Joe has about a million friends and, not only that, he's a Great American! Mend those bones, Joe. Don't forget you're supposed to get married in a couple of months!
Amiable Kenny Thompson of New Castle, England, made his second visit to the USA this winter to visit his son, Darren Thompson, an accomplished restorer of furniture. It didn't take Kenny long to discover that Zeno's isn't all that different from some of the cozy pubs back home. Good luck, Kenny, and come back to visit us again!
We archive darn near everything we print in the Gazette on our Web site. You'll find it at www.shortnorth.com. Don't forget to put a bookmark on it!
(From the Jan. 2003 issue)
Pack Rat
The eternal question: Pack rat or kangaroo with a small pouch? Advice on the subject is profuse. A famous person who should have known said, "Travel light." I forget who said that, Mark Twain or Osama bin Laden?
The problem is that even when you cast a judicious eye on, say, a piece of bric-a-brac, the urge to save it is dominant over the impulse to pitch it.
You know the feeling. We all do. And most of us are guilty of hanging onto useless and worthless stuff that just gathers dust or takes up all kinds of
space in our closets, basements, attics, boudoirs and bathrooms.
One of the most common alibis for this kind of possessive mania goes something like this: "If I keep it long enough, it'll be worth a lot of money. Look at the guys that kept the early editions of Superman Comics! And how about baseball cards? Or, surf around ebay and see all the guys that are cleaning up on this stuff. So will a roll of pennies be worth something if you keep them a thousand years?
The temptation to hang onto darn near every possession you own is especially strong when it comes to old clothing and favorite shoes. I'm sure that most of us have a thing about our seldom-if-ever worn old duds. Take my navy uniform, for instance. You'd have to strap me on the rack before I'd part with it. How about old tuxedoes, bridal gowns, favorite sport coats?
Trying to preserve one's own personal history plays a big role in all this. We never throw away legal records, ancient letters, old greeting cards, paid bills, newspaper clippings, and photographs of long-dead relatives - until our dresser drawers are overflowing - all in a desperate bid to halt the passage of time.
Add to the general melee, broken drugstore glasses, old combs with missing teeth, your kid's toys, keys for unremembered locks, prescriptions from the '70s, broken tools, old cans of paint.
I left books for last. They're a category unto themselves. Books! Books! Books! Tell me about it! They're in every room of my humble abode, overflowing from bookcases. But there is one great redeeming feature about hanging onto your books. (I didn't say your looks, but that's important, too) It's this: If a dog is man's best friend, a book can't be far behind - and they have tales, even though they can't wag them!
Postal Praise
Every once in a while I hear someone knock the U. S. Postal System and I try to set them straight. Here's what I tell them. For a lousy thirty-seven cents I can send a letter from Columbus, Ohio, to Anchorage, Alaska, and have it hand-delivered to the door.
Oh, sure, the system isn't perfect, but what is? Sometimes I get steamed up when my letter carrier is hours late. But, here's my question. I wonder how much a private company would charge to deliver my letter to Alaska? Maybe five dollars? And I'd probably have to be home to receive a letter and not have a little pink slip hanging on my door.
Crow Collapse
Where have all the crows gone? "Long time passing." I have heard or seen precious few of these boisterous critters for three or four months. Normally, they don't migrate, but they do gather together in big roosts at certain times of the year. A big flock of crows is called a murder of crows. But I'll betcha don't know what you call a bunch of crows that stick together. Give up? You call them vel-crows!
Famous Folks
Recently I got to thinking about some of the famous people who hail from Columbus. So I did a little research and here's the list I came up with.
¥ George Bellows, artist ¥ Billy Southworth, baseball great ¥ Eddie Rickenbacker, World War I ace ¥ Elsie Janis, actress ¥ Milton Caniff, cartoonist ¥ Curtis LeMay, U.S. Air Force Chief of Staff ¥ Emerson Burkhart, artist ¥ Eileen Heckhart, actress ¥ Ted Lewis, entertainer ¥Al G. Fields, minstrel ¥ Ruth McKenney, playwright ¥ Joel Sayre, writer ¥ Jean Peters, actress ¥ Warner Baxter, actor ¥ Katherine Campbell, only two-time winner of Miss America crown ¥ Grant Mitchell, film star ¥ Herkie Styles, comic ¥ James Thurber, humorist ¥ Jon Whitcomb, Illustrator ¥ Bob Newhart, humorist ¥ Mauri Rose, auto racer ¥ Roy Doty, cartoonist ¥ Howard Thurston, magician ¥
Many others, no doubt. If you can think of someone, let me know. And, hopefully, there are a few in the making!
Car Care
With winter upon us, here are some tips to keep your jalopy in good running order:
¸ Get a tune-up
¸ Check your anti-freeze
¸ Change your wiper blades, if needed
¸ Make sure your defrosters are working properly
¸ Check your battery
¸ Check your tires
If taking a trip, it's not a bad idea to have a shovel, a de-icer, flares, flash-light, maps, extra gloves, blankets, and maybe a cell-phone aboard!Dis 'n Data
SNBA Holiday Window Display Winners: Best Overall, Orbit Design. Best Theme: Urban Gardener. Most Entertaining: Torso. Best Holiday: Columbus Eyeworks and, finally, Best Bar/Restaurant: Betty's.
A new name at the old K2U location. More about that later.
Beautiful ambiance and peaceful would be a good beginning in describing the new Zen Cha Tea Salon at 982 North High Street Many kinds of tea, international and domestic, are yours to choose from. Also a daily dessert special.
Roadhouse Annie's opened up again last month, spruced up and good as new.
Cathy Capuano says B. Hampton's will soon have a new menu, probably by the time you read this.
And remember, eagles may soar, but weasels don't get sucked into jet engines.
Have a great New Year!Quickie Quiz
Okay, here's a little quiz to keep you on your toes. This one's about famous fictional ships' captains. In other words, name the captain of each of the following scows. For double scores, name the authors. The answers are on page 12. Anchors a-weigh!
¥ The Pequod.
The U. S. S. Caine
¥ The H. M. S. Bounty
¥ The Nautilus
¥ The Ghost.
(from the Dec. '02 issue)
Dungaree Data
How many pairs of jeans is it normal for one fellow to own? Your guess is as good as mine, but a lady friend who was nosing around in the sanctity of my walk-in closet started counting a stack of newly washed, neatly folded blue jeans. Her eagle eye soon spotted several more pairs of dirty disheveled ones crammed on top of the laundry basket, and then she started counting.
Well, guess how many there were altogether? Clean and dirty. Eight? Ten? Twelve? You're getting close! Actually, there were 17 pairs, but a couple of those were cut-offs, so they should only count half as much. All right, all right, 17 pairs. Now, I ask you, is that an unreasonable number?
Some of them I almost never wear unless I have no other choice. They're the ones that are too baggy or so tight I can't even squeeze into them anymore. You know how it is. Those good folks out there on the Asiatic rim don't have the same system of numbering that we do. Either that or their bodies are made differently.
I mentioned the baggy ones, the sloppy, floppy ones. These are the pants that slither slowly down my backside until I give them another testy tug after which they slowly slither again and again. Well, if there are people out there who like that style, that's their problem. Me? I like the tight fit, streamlined ones (especially on women).
Anyway, what I'm trying to say is that I have my favorite ones, the ones that don't fall off or cut my circulation, and I wear those most of the time. That's about 11 pairs of jeans. Oops!
I forgot the ones I'm wearing. Make that 12. The others are there for that dreaded morning when my laundry holds 12 pairs of dirty dungarees &endash; and my last pair of underwear. Well, am I a jean jockey? Tell me I'm not. I'm sure the fine folks over at Target would say I'm okay with this.
Holiday Hop
What a happy time the December 7 Holiday Hop holds in store for those attending: Live music on the street corners, performers and vendors on the sidewalks, free photo-ops with Santa (Bring a toy or donate $5).
There will be free carriage rides around Goodale Park from 6:00 to 10:00 pm. Enjoy the beautifully decorated windows of the shops and galleries. And, as always, lots of good art to admire and good food to enjoy. And, wow, don't forget those arches!
Goodale Gala
The annual Friends of Goodale Park Holiday Gala will be held in what may be the largest house in Victorian Village!
Jim Schmelzer and Donna Byrom are hosting the gala in their beautiful home at 839 Neil Avenue. The house includes a theatre room, a game room with a pool table, and a grand piano which will be put to good use by pianist Jeff Hamm. Hors d'oeuvres, dessert, live music, door prizes and Village company are yours for $30 per person. Tickets can be purchased at the door Wednesday, December 11 from 6:00 to 8:30 pm. Everyone is welcome. Proceeds help preserve the beauty of gorgeous Goodale Park as well as finance projects like the recent Shelterhouse renovation. This year effort will be directed toward installation of a new fountain. Call 457-0929.
Art Alert
Columbus College of Art & Design's Annual Holiday Student Art Sale will offer the works of over 100 talented students. Unique paintings, drawings, photography, sculpture, prints, handmade paper, jewelry, and ceramic works should provide plenty of opportunity to make a dent in your holiday gift shopping. There is a $10 admission fee for the first hour (9-10 am) on Saturday, December 14 in the Canzani Center, at Cleveland Avenue and E. Gay Street. The sale ends at 2 pm. Proceeds benefit the CCAD Endowed Student Scholarship Fund. Call 224-9101.
In Grandview, Glass Axis will be holding its annual Holiday Glass Sale featuring work from local artists, demon-strations, and refreshments, beginning on Friday, December 15 from 5-9 pm and December 16 and 17 from 10 am &endash; 6 pm. Glass Axis is located at 1341B Norton Avenue, between 3rd and 5th. Call 228-4011 for more information.
Also remember that over 400 artists from across the nation will show juried work of original fine craft in every imaginable media, traditional and contemporary, at the Columbus Winter-fair held at the Ohio State Fairgrounds Bricker Multi-Purpose Building from Thursday, December 5 thru Sunday, December 8. The show will open every day at 11 am, except Sunday at noon. The Winterfair is brought to you by the Ohio Designer Craftsmen. For information, visit www.ohiocraft.org or call 486-7119.
Museum Mutts
If you don't treat yourself to anything else the rest of the year, at least do yourself this one favor and go see "A Thousand Hounds," at the Columbus Museum of Art.
Liz James wrote all about this sensational show in the November issue of the Gazette. One of the dogs was on our front cover.
This exhibit of many photographs featuring dogs from around the world, from many different eras, by many photographers, is really something to howl about. It's a real tail wager! It's ha-ha funny. It's boo-hoo sad. You'll fall all over yourself laughing and gasping in surprise. You'll bark your approval!
You'll even meet Andy Warhol and James Dean (with their dogs), among lots of other celebrities.
Take your kids, take your grandmother. Even if you're a cat lover, you'll say this show is the cat's meow.
Eyeglass Gift
Image Optical, 846 North High Street, operated by Dr. Todd Clark, will donate one pair of eyeglass frames to The Childhood League Center for every pair sold in their shop in December. The Childhood League was founded in 1945 to serve kids under the age of six with developmental delays and their families. A good pair of glasses for a good cause - that's what I like to see!
Dis 'n Data
Those Southwestern Chicken Panni sandwiches at the Cameron Mitchell Bread Company are really super!
A stretch limo pulled up in front of Jo Johnson's Posh Pets last Gallery Hop and a dozen fancy dogs hopped out! They went into the new digs to see what was what. Of course, they were on leashes!
Monkey's Retreat has retreated further north to 1202 N. High. Artist Chas Krider will be there signing his new book Motel Fetish, published by TASCHEN, December Hop night from 6- 11 pm.
Randy Tarr's Great Things on High continues to carry an incredible variety of gifts &endash; including lots of angels, cherubs, and gargoyles. More Christmas ideas: Yankee Trader is the perfect place to go for stocking stuffers.
Better Earth, located in the North market, has a unique selection of miniature Alaskan masks. Made of caribou skin. The Nunamiut Eskimo artifacts have been handcrafted by Lela Ahgook, one of the master mask makers in her village!
Happy Holidays!
(From the Nov. '02 issue)
Walky-Talky
More and more often I see people walking down the street busily talking to themselves, oblivious to the rest of the world. There seems to be no disparity between the sexes; sometimes it's a man, sometimes a woman. And these poor souls that find themselves so interesting that they can't refrain from talking to themselves come in all ages. The other day at the super-market, a woman was so busy blabbing to herself she almost ran into my cart - and she wasn't on a cell phone either.
Now, I admit to talking to myself once in a while when I'm alone, but it's never more than a word or two. Let's face it, I'm not that interesting - and I already know what I'm going to say. Oh, I'll cuss up a storm and let loose with a few choice words when I crack my knee or elbow on the old jalopy, but that's about the extent of it. What really concerns me: Is all this self-talk symptomatic of some greater malaise? Are these people retreating into themselves so much that they have lost connection with the outside world?
I just thought of another explanation. These hapless people are cell-phone users who have suffered the unthinkable. They have been deprived of their precious little chatterbox. Sob! Maybe they carelessly left it at home. Maybe they didn't pay their phone bill and were mercilessly cut off. Oh, Lord, what a fate!
Well, don't expect a passing smile or cheerful greeting from these busy folks. They've got more important matters in mind - and anyway, they can't see you!
BIV Board
ROY G BIV Director Melody Worsley recently announced the names of new board members: Matt Berry, David Charlowe, Jim Coleman, Jillian Farley, Jami Goldstein, Erica Hardesty, Kojo Kamau, Ric Petry, Judith Politi, Todd Rensi, Ben Rupp, Amy Thompson, Barbara Vogel, and Teresa Weidenbusch.
Space to Share
The office building at 27 Russell Street in the Short North was once a church, and like the charitable inhabitants of old, owner Jay Cheplowitz has decided to open his doors to the needy - in this case, needy artists. What he is proposing is to make portions of the common areas (and possibly vacant offices) in the building available to artists for exhibiting their work during Gallery Hops. He says the idea came to him only recently (as if from the heavens above), so the details are somewhat cloudy, but he would be delighted to discuss the possibilities with interested individuals. Jay can be reached at 464-4000 or by email at jay@Metro-Rentals.com
Spirit of '60s
Folk singer Bill Cohen's sentiment for the '60s has been strummin' strong since the 1980s. For the 17th year, Cohen will present a '60s show to hallmark this turbulent era. The Spirit of the Sixties Candlelit Coffeehouse will include live folksongs of poetic music-masters such as Peter, Paul & Mary, Dylan, Ochs, Mitchell and more. News of major events, memories of civil rights sit-ins, anti-war activists, and space flights will be reported. Trivia questions with prizes, fashion statements, and a display of historical relics will be there. A $10 donation benefits the Mid-Ohio Food Bank. Held Friday November 8 from 7:30 to 10:30 pm in the King Avenue Methodist Church, 299 W. King Avenue & Neil. Free parking, refreshments. Call 263-3851 for more. Send a letter describing your experience at the Cohen concert and we'll try to print it in the Gazette. Love to hear about it!
Evening Event
Over 25 local talented artists and some performers will share their creativity with the public during an evening fundraiser to be held at the Smith Brothers Building, 580 North Fourth Street on Saturday, November 9.
"Beyond the Canvas: An Evening of Art and Song" was a huge success last year, according to Paula Katz of Camp Sunrise. The Second Annual event has been expanded and partial proceeds from sales will once again be used to benefit Camp Sunrise and Project OpenHand, organizations helping those affected by HIV and AIDS. Tickets are $15 in advance or $20 at the door. Call 297-8404 or 298-8334 for more information.
Tasty Snacks
Last month I mentioned how I love refrigerator food! I went on to describe several of my favorite chips and dips. Here are a couple of other items I like.
¥ Small-curd cottage cheese with honey poured over it. For a real burst of energy, cut a banana up on top of the cottage cheese, then pour on the honey.
¥ In a salad bowl, I put in all the usual greens, add some small chunks of Monterey Jack cheese, scatter some chopped date bits around, add some halved seedless grapes a few cucumber slices, if you desire. Chopped nuts are good, too. Then I scoop out a nest in the center of the bowl and dump in a can of rinsed canned beet slices. Over the beets, I pour a little maple syrup. Finally, tomato quarters (canned or fresh) go around the edges. If you want to make a meal of it, slice some tender chicken breast on top of the whole thing!
¥ Or, how about this? Instant oatmeal, sliced bananas, vanilla yogurt on top.
Busy Builders
Joe Armeni recently reminded us that for the first time in 80 years, new construction is taking place east of Summit Street and north of East First Avenue. Projects in
